This Craziness I Call Life

Apologies to my 2 faithful readers, my mom and my mother-in-law, for the lack of posts over the last month or so. And as I now feel the muscles in my neck cramp up a bit as I begin to type, I have come up with a wonderful reason (excuse) for my absence in the blog world lately. Our computer chair broke and I have to resort to sitting on the floor while looking up at the screen...not very beneficial for the neck. Maybe that is why I haven't spent much time at the computer lately. Sounds good to me.

I've been wanting to post about our Thanksgiving, remembering that my main purpose of this blog is to record the goings-on of the Aaron clan. I want to remember every part of this craziness we call life, and Thanksgiving 2008 is a perfiect example of life with the Aaron's.

I had been feeling a little sorry for myself due to the fact that this holiday season would be the first in my 34 years of life on this planet that I would not be spending one moment with extended family. Although, we were invited to have Thanksgiving dinner with a friend/co-worker of Alex's, his fiance, mother, future mother-in-law, grandmother, sister, brother-in-law, and two nephews. Sounds like fun, especially since that means I would be getting out of grocery shopping, cooking, and cleaning up the disaster that always accompanies Thanksgiving dinner at our house. But, it also means stress and hard work supervising a very energetic 8 year autistic child and introducing him to a new environment.

Let me back up for a moment. About two months ago Alex and I decided to put Jacob on some medication that would hopefully reverse the progression of his turning into the Tasmanian Devil. He was becoming somewhat out of control, not with his compliance or attitude, but with his body. He couldn't be still for any length of time and was INTO everything. Well, after taking the plunge, we were so thrilled to now have some of our sanity back and Jacob seemed so much more content and physically under control. So, when thinking of taking him to someone else's home, it gave us a renewed confidence that we could actually have a stress free and enjoyable time.

Well, we depart on our 45 minute journey to our friend's home for a wonderful Thanksgiving meal and about 5 minutes away from our destination Jacob lets out scream, just a normal "stimulating his vocal chords and likes how it sounds" scream. I then immediately looked at Alex and asked, " You did give him his medicine, didn't you?" Yep, you guessed it. It was the classic case of "he thought she did and she thought he did," and it didn't get done! We were both so frustrated at ourselves (me, especially, since I had just taken his medication out of my purse THAT morning) because this could have been a really nice evening, something we don't normally experience at someone else's home.

Due to our gracious and understanding hosts, we actually did have a nice time. Other than sniffing the appetizers and putting them back on the platter and throwing a foam puzzle piece and hitting our host in the face, Jacob did behave very well. That doesn't necessarily translate into a stress free evening, but it was a nice evening. I did have to take Jacob outside for a couple of breaks, especially during desert time...he loves to finger paint with pies. Josiah and Micah had alot of fun, the food was delicious, and we added a little something different to the Thanksgiving of our hosts. I wouldn't know what its like to have a typical family, but the challanges of being a-typical allow us to have experiences that create memories that not everyone can say they understand. Its actually refreshing and I embrace this craziness I call life.

Let's Get Ready to RUMBLE!

On Saturday morning Alex went a "couple of rounds" (I'm using boxing terminology in honor of my husband) with a tractor. I got a phone call from him that morning from the hospital, and he informed me of the eventful start to his day. Haven already been given some pain medication, he groggily (is that a word?) told me that he and a tractor he was driving took a tumble down a hill and his right leg got pinned underneath the tractor. There was no one with him, so all he could do was yell for help. Within 5 minutes someone came to his rescue, 911 was called, and he was awaiting x-rays when he reached me on the phone. Thankfully, his leg was not broken, but he is extremely sore. It could have been so much worse, but God was protecting him. His being out of work for at least a week will be a struggle financially, but weeks ago I had made arrangements to work for a co-worker this week who needed some time off. So, God seems to always provide. I am so thankful that He is so faithful...and that he protects us when we drive a tractor down a steep hill with wet leaves everywhere. :)

And That's What's For Dinner Tonight

Anyone looking for a new recipe? Micah's got one for you...

2 eggs (shells included)
1/2 bottle of water
handful of baby carrots
a dab of mayo

Stir ingredients together in a skillit on no heat. Serve with applesauce on the side.

Micah created this recipe while I was on the phone this morning and thankfully he only ate the applesauce.

Give That Kid Some Food

In the process of trying to delay bedtime last night, my barely 3 year old announced to me that he was "seriously hungry." His overly dramatic older brother has alot of influence on him.

Time

Yesterday my baby turned 3 years old. Where has the time gone? We have probably all voiced at one time or another how time goes by faster and faster as we get older. My only answer to the reason why is that time is actually ticking at a faster rate. Ok, I don't really believe that but it sure seems that way.

But why do the wonderful experiences in our lives, such as enjoying our children, seem to fly by, but the tough times seem to linger on. Even though there are many more wonderful experiences than tough times, we (or I guess I should say "I") dwell so much more on the negative and in doing so give it more life. I want my time with my kids to linger on, not my struggles.

Micah is now 3 and he truly is my "little ray of sunshine." I hope to cherish my time with him more and more because before I know it I won't have that beautiful little cheek to kiss goodnight anymore.

Enter: lump in the throat!!!!

I better go before I scare my kids half to death with my blubbering.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MICAH!

Beans and Rice and Jesus Christ

...but now that I saw gas today for $2.95/gallon we can have tea and juice with our beans and rice instead of water. That's cause to celebrate!

Although money has been tight lately (when it rains Alex doesn't work and it rained alot last month), I have a renewed hope. Alex took over the bills this week. I guess you could say that I got fired from that responsibility, but thats ok. He is much better at budgeting than I am and when he sets his mind on something (which is digging ourselves out of this hole we are in) he sticks to it. It won't be fun, but we are determined to live by a stricter budget from now on. Who am I kidding? We are determined to live by a budget PERIOD from now on. Its actually quite exciting.

He Knows the Law

This morning, although quite typical, was a tough morning. It takes Josiah a while to get "up and about" and he has never won any "the first one to get ready for school" contests. So, he was taking his time, not focusing on what he needed to do, and had a not-so-good attitude this morning. I told him that if he missed the bus, he was going to stay home from school today and be my slave. He was extremely upset at this statement and with a slightly bigger not-so-good attitude he looked at me and said, " Momma, that has GOT to be against the law!!!"

Another Father/Son Moment

Alex and Micah have a unique opportunity to make some wonderful memories together. Alex works as a landscaper during the day and because I also work Mon, Tues, and Wed, Alex has a sweet little "partner" who accompanies him to work on a regular basis.

The couple Alex works for has a home in Manchester, MA overlooking the ocean. The atmosphere is very awe inspiring, so just being on the premises is a memory in and of itself. But the time that Alex and Micah spend together as father and son is a special opportunity.

Micah follows him around, attempts to help any way he is able, rides the "gator," eats his packed lunch, and returns home for an afternoon nap in daddy's bed, all while his brothers are at school and not competing for daddy's attention.

It brings a positive spin on the fact that we were unable to find childcare for Micah on these days. I really hope that he will be able to remember these days and look back on them and smile, remembering when he was a little landscaper.

A Night to Remember

This is one of those stories that I've been intending to record on my blog for the sole purpose of having it in "writing" for Josiah to read and remember one day.

Friday evening around 6:15 Alex calls me from work joyously proclaiming that someone was giving away free Red Sox/Yankees tickets and asked me if he should take them. I, for a single moment, got really excited and asked him which game they were for, Saturday or Sunday. He then announced, "TONIGHT." The game is set to start in 50 minutes, Fenway Park is around 50 minutes away, I'm at home with our three children, and Alex is at work. So how in the world does he think this will work? I sadly told him that it just couldn't work as he's trying to twist my arm to finding a sitter (very last minute I might add, not my idea of fun). He quickly realized it was too much to ask, knowing that it could be midnight before we would get home. Nice idea, would have been a blast, but unfortunately we would have to pass.

I got off the phone with him and within a few short minutes, Josiah, having heard one end of the conversation, asked me what Alex and I were talking about. I explained the situation and he looked at me with great anticipation in his eyes and asked, "Can he take me?" "Now thats not a bad idea", I thought, although I have no way to contact Alex at work to mention this great idea to him. Shortly after, Alex, having the same great idea, calls and tells me to get Josiah ready...he's got the tickets and will take Josiah with him. Josiah was thrilled, to say the least.

They didn't get there until 8:30, but because of a rain delay, the game was just starting. And little did I know (because I fell asleep on the couch) there would be another 30 minute rain delay in the 5th inning. I wake up at 1:00am and they are not home. I hurry to the phone and when I reach him, shortly after 1:00, he informs me that the subway stopped running at 12:30 and he and Josiah, along with about a hundred others were stuck, with no way to get to their cars. He decides to get $100 out of the ATM to pay for a cab, which didn't at all thrill me, but it sure was a heck of alot better than my getting Jacob and Micah out of bed in the middle of the night to drive to Boston to rescue them. The cab ended up only costing $30 and being blessed with FREE Red Sox/Yankees tickets, we were still way ahead of the game, financially speaking. They arrived home at close to 2:30am, but I think they would both agree it was all well worth it.

The biggest thrill of the night came after the 30 minute 5th inning rain delay. Most people left the ballpark at that time due to fact that the Yankees were beating us pretty badly because, having already clinched a play-off spot and knowing the Yankees had no chance of getting there (I just had to throw that in), we were playing many of our bench players. But because Alex and Josiah endured the rain delay, for the last 4 innings, they got to sit right behind the Red Sox on-deck circle and see everyone up close and personal. They even had quite a few TV appearances. It was quite a night! Yes, I'm a little jealous because I actually never made it to a game this year, but I think Josiah has some great memories to carry with him for a long time.

I'll Say a Little Prayer For You....

Bedtime in the Aaron household is probably not much different from your home...bath/shower, read a book, brush teeth, get tucked into bed, and then a prayer. Leading up to the prayer I usually say something like, "ok, guys let's pray now"... not a very exciting, spiritual, or memorable intro. Micah hasn't seemed to really get into it as he continues to play with the toys he has quietly assembled to join him in his bed. Well, when Grandma Rushing was here visiting, Micah developed a change of heart. My mom tucked the boys into bed one evening, and she said, "Let's talk to Jesus." Micah looked at her like she was from another planet and answered, "huh???"

I'm not sure exactly how the conversation transpired after that, but I do know ever since then Micah, who was always so indifferent to our nighttime "prayer," reminds me every night that we need to talk to Jesus. My mom's suggestion that evening really personalized it for him. When its his turn to pray, he often repeats much of my prayer, adds in a little something about dinosaurs and Pirates of the Carribean, and ends with "the end." And after reminding Josiah that its his turn and trying so desperately to get Jacob to join in, he then "allows" me to leave the room, but only because he's had about 14 kisses and we have talked to Jesus.

Need a Little Encouragement

Ok, so far I have lost 8.5 lbs 5 weeks into my journey towards that bikini bod. Pretty good, I guess. I'm in the lead (among the women) at work, so I'm on the right track. But Wednesday night I baked a batch of cookies and they were all gone by noon the next day. OUCH! ...talk about feeling like crap. I felt as if I gained all my weight back in one day even though I know that's not possible. I woke up this morning having to make a decision whether or not to throw in the towel just for the weekend, but that would have been dangerous because it probably wouldn't have ended at the weekend. Once I "cheat" like that its almost as if I immediately feel like I've failed. But, I'm proud to say that I made the right decision and started fresh this morning, getting back on track, but I could still use a "you can do it" or "I'm supporting you" or "you're doing a great job." Sound a little needy? Oh, well. I just really want to succeed this time.

Happy Birthday, Josiah! (5 days late)

I have the following picture as my wallpaper on my computer screen, mainly because I think its so stinkin cute. But after seeing this picture day after day, I began to notice something about it.


Its my three beautiful red-headed boys, two of whom still need alot of assistance and direction in day to day life. I noticed that Josiah, in the middle, is walking confidently with shoulders held high, holding each of his brothers by the hand. He is grasping Micah's hand, or wrist, firmly, as if he knows that is what Micah needs to keep him from running into the parking lot. He is holding Jacob's hand gently and tenderly showing compassion for his brother who needs his help even though he is older. Maybe I am over analyzing this photo, but I really feel like it gives such a clear "picture" of who Josiah is. He is a loving, compassionate, loyal, and proctective brother who wants to teach them everything he knows. I love you, Josiah, for just being who you are. Your brothers are so lucky to have you in their life. Happy 7th birthday.

Out of the Mouths of Babes

Last night I asked Josiah who he wanted to become president. He knows the names of both candidates, but Alex and I haven't talked too much with him about political issues. His answer was, "Which one is the one who wouldn't tell secrets about his friends?" (referring to McCain's refusing the opportunity to be released from the POW camp). Alex answered John McCain. Josiah then stated matter of factly, "Him, then. I want him." He then asked Alex and I who we "liked better" and we both answered McCain. Josiah looked somewhat confused as he asked, "Then why is Barak Obama always on the stage on TV?" I thought this was quite insightful especially coming from a 7 year old. Take what you will....:)

Watch Your Mouth

We were all five sitting at the table having dinner the other night when something, I can't remember what, caused the word "crap" to come out of Alex's mouth. Micah looked at him with a confused look on his face and said, "crap, Daddy?" Alex apologized to the kids for using the word and then got softly scolded by Josiah who said, "Daddy, you really need to watch what you say in front of the little one" (referring to Micah). After all, Josiah DID start 1st grade today.

Alex's little blunder isn't quite as bad as the word that flies out of my mouth sometimes. After hearing Micah (who is only 2) searching all over his room the other day for his "freakin pillow," I have decided to put forth much more effort in taming my tongue.

A Teachable Moment

After going through the drive-through at McDonalds yesterday for a couple of Happy Meals, I gave the food to the kids in the back of the van to have a "picnic in the car" on our way to Target. Sometimes the Happy Meals are in paper bags and sometimes in the traditional carboard boxes. Well this time they were in the boxes and Micah was insisting that he needed "help, help, help, momma, help me." I asked Josiah to open Micah's box for him and instead of doing it for him, he showed him how to push the little tabs through and had Micah do it himself. Then Josiah said to me, "Momma, wasn't that a great idea, showing Micah how to do it, so he can learn to do it himself." I told him what an excellent idea that was, realizing how much I enable my children to be too dependent on me, or others for that matter. Micah will be 3 in October and he can already do alot more for himself than my other two at that age, but I think that is soley due to the fact that he has Josiah to emulate. I should get no credit for that. It does such a disservice to my kids when I take the easy way out and just "do it myself." I want my kids to be capable, responsible adults, so I better get with it now and be more pro-active at teaching them how to become capable and responsible. Josiah used that moment in the van to teach Micah, but little did he know the effect that teachable moment had on me.

Breakfast, Anyone?

Who is better at cooking breakfast, you or your spouse? I am so very fortunate to have a husband who is a wonderful cook, much better than me, and not only is he good at it, he loves to do it, unlike me. But I have always heard that as far as cooking is concerned men excel at breakfast and grilling, of course. Is this true in your home? My poor kids get cereal, poptarts, toast, or the occasional scrambled eggs, mainly because of time constraints. And since Jacob goes to school year round, I am always getting someone (or two) ready for school, packing a lunch(es), and getting myself ready for work. But when Daddy happens to be home in the mornings, which doesn't happen often, they get french toast, bacon and eggs, blueberry pancakes, making me look really bad. All I can say is nobody gets their clothes cleaner than I do.

My Transformation

I'm feeling really good about the last couple of weeks. My outlook about losing weight is quite different this time around. It doesn't feel like such a chore and cutting back on the poor food choices hasn't saddened me like it has in the past. I went an entire week without a McDonalds sweet tea without thinking much of it and my "after the kids go to bed treat" hasn't been missed. I'm not sure what has made the difference, but I like the feeling because it gives me confidence to achieve my goal. Don't get me wrong, I still need to remind myself to be patient. Its only been 2 weeks and I already want that bikini bod. It'll be a while before I reach that milestone.

Its funny how when you improve your life in one area, it causes you to want to improve all around. I shaved my underarms two times this week (as opposed to one) and I flossed my teeth everyday instead of my usual 3-4 times a week. I'm even handling my money better, which gives me such a peace of mind. Extra weight really "weighs" you down in many areas of life. I'm only 4.5 lbs lighter than I was 2 weeks ago (btw, I lost 1.5 lbs this week, today was weigh-in), but my way of thinking has been completely transformed and I hope it stays that way.

More Than Just Summer Camp

Over the summer Josiah participated in a sibling program at Jacob's school on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I was a little concerned at first about the cost of driving him back and forth (Jacob's school is about an hour away), but the program itself was free, so it balanced out.

Siblings of the autistic children, ages 3 and up, were invited to participate in the summer-camp style activity. Along with games, art projects, etc. the siblings are also given the opportunity to be in the classroom with his/her brother or sister and be very hands on (as much as they want to be) with the "teaching" process. Josiah LOVES this part of the day. I've always known how lucky Jacob is to have Josiah as his brother, but this summer has really given new meaning to that acknowlegment. Teachers and therapists have mentioned to me on numerous occasions how wonderful Josiah is with Jacob. He has such a desire to teach Jacob new things and be a comfort and support to him during difficult situations.

I overheard him speaking to Jacob the other day in a soft sweet voice, reassuring Jacob that he "knows its difficult to wait sometimes, but just be patient and we will get you some more french fries in just a few minutes." (you would have to hear the intonation in his voice to really appreciate it) And Jacob has been initiating play (mainly tickling and wrestling) with Josiah ALOT lately and I think its because they have spent alot of time together away from home. It so great to see a relationship developing between the two of them...may not be a typical relationship, but its a relationship. Can't wait for the period of time that this happens with Micah and Jacob. It may be a while, as Micah just really gets on his nerves right now, but it will happen.

I'm just really greatful for the program this summer as it has done so much more than just giving Josiah something to do.

Oh, How I've Changed

A friend of mine from high school, who I haven't seen in more than a decade, contacted me last week on facebook. It got me to thinkin. She and I had alot in common...we were somewhat consumed with our appearance. We would both go directly to the bathroom between each class period and primp. My purse would be filled with makeup and hairspray and I would completely give myself a do-over every hour. Consumed, I tell you. Of course, this was the late 80's, early 90's and makeup and hairspray were much more important back then. I mean, how could I get my hair to stand up like that all day without carrying around a bottle of hairspray? And hoping not to portray myself as a vain person, I was the kind who could not pass by a mirror without taking a glance. I desired perfection and never feeling anywhere near that, I put forth MUCH effort.

Boy, how things have changed. I know that becoming a mother and not having much time to spend on myself has caused me to change in that area, but I think its more than that. Maybe finding a husband who loves me for who I am has changed me as well. And no offense to New Englanders, but living here has given me the green light to be, shall I say, more natural. Its definitely different from the South. When I was a teenager I actually knew a guy who would fix his hair just to go mow the yard. Those who knew me in high school would be blown away by the way I look sometimes going to the grocery store. Maybe its just growing up and realizing there are more important things to spend my time on. Needless to say, I have changed so much in this particular area of my life since then...yes, maybe too much. I think its important to take care of oneself and that leads me to one other thing....I lost 3 pounds on my first week of our Biggest Loser contest. I'll keep you posted on how I'm doing.
So, why don't you tell me how you have most changed since high school.

Quite a Work-Out

I was about 2 minutes into my George Foreman "Walk and Box" workout video when Josiah so sincerely informed me, "Momma, you ALREADY look thinner. " Now don't everybody trample over one another on his/her way to purchase this miracle workout!

And the next Biggest Loser is....

...me, at least I hope to be 12 weeks from now. No, I will not be going on national television and standing on an economy sized scale in spandex and a sports bra, but having my weight posted in the break room at work is bad enough. We are doing a "Biggest Loser" contest at work and I am really excited because I know I can do this. I have always thrived off of competition, but its more than that. Most of us (there are 5 of us involved) will be doing Weight Watchers so just being there for each other and encouraging one another will be extremely motivating. My goal is to lose 26 lbs in 12 weeks (although I think I can do better than that). And although everyone else at my office will have reached their final weight loss goals at that point, it will be a wonderful jump start for me on my way to losing 61 total pounds. So, you think I can do it?

He's Still the One

Alex and I celebrated our 12th anniversary on Sunday. It is so hard to believe its been that long, and what a 12 years it has been. Because I stress out so much about finding childcare, I didn't even attempt it this year and our three boys accompanied us to Outback Steakhouse. Not very romantic, but it was actually quite nice. After all, Jacob, Josiah, and Micah are the greatest result of our lives together as husband and wife. We are both so proud to have them as our children. And, yes, I would have really enjoyed some time alone with my husband on my anniversary, but, without sounding too corny or chiche, my boys will be grown up before I know it and I want to treasure every moment with them. I didn't really intend for this to be a post about my kids. I wanted to express how much I love my husband (hence the title) Kids always seem to "steal the show."

I posted the following lyrics from an old Shania Twain song on my myspace page last year on our anniversary, but I thought I would add it to my blog this year. I could have totally written this song myself...to Alex.

Looks like we made it
Look how far we've come my baby
We mighta took the long way
We knew we'd get there someday

Bridge: They said, "I bet they'll never make it"
But just look at us holding on
We're still together still going strong

Chorus: You're still the one I run to
The one that I belong to
You're the one I want for life
You're still the one that I love
The only one I dream of
You're still the one I kiss good night

Ain't nothin' better
We beat the odds together
I'm glad we didn't listen
Look at what we would be missing

Bridge: They said, "I bet they'll never make it"
But just look at us holding on
We're still together still going strong

Chorus: You're still the one I run to
The one that I belong to
You're the one I want for life
You're still the one that I love
The only one I dream of
You're still the one I kiss good night

I'm so glad we made it
Look how far we've come my baby

A Precious Omission

As I was reading through some of my old posts, I came to the disturbing conclusion that I don't share many things at all about Micah. What's up with that? Well, it became quite obvious to me as I reflected on the reason for this omission. Micah is at that age (will be 3 in Oct) where he cracks me up on a daily basis, but the things I am referring to cannot be communicated in writing and would not compare in the slightest to actually seeing these things with your own eyes. ...like the way he counts to 13 but always omits 1 and 2, the way he tells a knock-knock joke, the way he uses phrases that I use (both good and not-so-good), the way he hides food in his mouth and pretends that he has swollowed, the way he gets angry, the way he "reads" a book, the way he imitates Kung-Fu-Panda, and just the vocabulary he uses that seems so advanced for a two-year old. All these things brings a smile to my face and I know it would yours too if you could see him. Printed words can do no justice to the joy that beautiful child brings to my life.

Beaming With Pride

So many things to blog about and so little time... It seems that what used to be my "blogging time" has now been replaced with sleep. I can't seem to make it much past my kids' bedtime lately, but I do want to mention an exciting milestone that Jacob reached on Friday afternoon. We got him a bike for his birthday, his first bike. He hasn't SEEMED to have the co-ordination or leg strength to actually pedal, but has recently been very interested in Josiah's bike. He gets on and wants us to push him around and he has a ball. Well, on Friday afternoon, on just the second day of trying to teach him, he did it (with training wheels), all by himself! He was so happy and was obviously proud of himself. Jacob's therapist, Josiah, two of Josiah's neighborhood friends, Alex, and I were cheering him on and he was eating it up. Josiah and his friends were offering up high-fives and it was a beautiful sight. Having an autistic child causes one to truly appreciate the small (yet big) accomplishments and it does make it even sweeter.

Happy Birthday, Jacob!

Eight years ago today, I gave birth to my first child, a precious 7lb 12oz, 20 1/4 inch long baby boy with a head full of red hair. It was such an exciting day. I had a scheduled induction due to the fact that Jacob was a little too comfortable and cozy inside my womb. I endured 11 hours of labor with the help of an epidural and Jacob entered this world to an audience. In the delivery room were Alex, my mom, my dad, my mother-in-law, my sister and behind the curtain were my father-in-law and brother-in-law. Sounds like a full house, I know, but being my first, as well as the first grandchild for my parents, I wouldn't have done it any other way. To be able to share such a miraculous experience with my family was amazing.

Jacob's first year of life was not typical, having been diagnosed with a cleft palate within minutes of his birth. And seeing my beautiful baby boy undergo numerous tests after having seizures at 4 months of age was completely heart wrenching. After his being diagnosed with autism at age 2, we were devestated, but God has miraculously sustained us through all of the unexpected obstacles that have accompanied our lives. Jacob is and forever will be my perfect angel and I thank God for allowing me to be his mom.

Having not known very much about autism upon Jacob's diagnosis, I assumed he would take on the stereotype that I had pictured in my head. One of the disappointments I faced was that my son would never be able to tell me or even show me that he loves me. I am here to personally attest to the falsity of that stereoype. I never feel more loved than when Jacob so intently looks me in the eye, when he touches my face, when he pulls me so close to him when I kiss him goodnight, when he embraces me so tightly as we cuddle on the couch each morning before he goes to school, when he attempts to say momma by putting my fingers to his lips, and when he wears that absolutely beautiful smile on his face as we interact with one another. And while I may not hear the words, at least in this life, I know that my son loves me.

Jacob doesn't really "get" the whole birthday thing. So instead of being so consumed with parties, cakes, and gifts I feel I have more time to appreciate Jacob, reflect on the past 8 years, and just enjoy being his mom.

Reality TV

If you could choose one reality show to be a part of, which one would it be? I know, reality shows are stupid and are in no way challenging to our intellect, but I, personally, enjoy a few of them. My answer would be "hands down" Extreme Makeover Home Edition. I would, first, have to actually own a home for the crew to tear down, but that would be dream come true. And anyone who knows us well, knows that this would be the greatest thing that could ever happen to our family. A visit from Supernanny would also be a treat, and if I were famous I would love to go on Dancing With the Stars. I'm much too self-conscience to go on American Idol (not to mention too old), and I would never have been able to make out on national television (before I was married, of course) on the Bachelor.

I do have a premise for a new reality show. Its not an original idea. I heard it on the radio the other day. Its a twist on Wife Swap. Instead of trading wives for two weeks, one family with typically functioning kids would trade those children for an autistic child(ren). I think one day would be enough of an education for people like that Savage guy, the radio personality in NY that went on an autism rant this week, angrily stating that 99% of kid with autism are just brats that have been spoiled by their parents. He is the most ignorant man I have ever come across in my entire life. Did you hear about this?

Calgon...Take Me Away!!!!!

There are times when I look at my beautiful autistic son, Jacob, and think, "Wow, you are so easy!" It happens to be one of those times...Jacob is sitting quietly on my bed, flipping the pages of a book, making sweet noises, and he is very content. My other two...how can I say this without sounding completely irrational...are driving me nuts! They have not stopped whining, arguing, complaining, fighting, or yelling since I have been home from work. And why do I put up with it? Well, discipling my kids is the last thing I want to do after a long day at work. It takes so much effort. If I were Alex, all I would have to say is, "Micah...in the corner" and off to the corner Micah would go, without one utterance or "Josiah...ROOM!" and off to his room he trotts. But, I am not Alex, I am Jenn, and for some reason that I will not ever fully understand my words don't carry the same amount of punch? Does anyone else have this problem? And as a side thought....any advise on keeping an almost 3 year old in time-out? (or in the corner, as we like to call it)

Just Do It

The longer I procrastincate the harder this will be. After stepping away from my blog for the past couple of weeks, re-entering seems a little overwhelming. Where should I begin, what should I share, do I forget about the past couple of weeks and just pick up from the present? Anyone else stress out over such things? ....not worth it, I know. Just do it, I tell myself.

My mom and dad came out to visit the first of this month, and after getting here several hours after they were due to arrive because of a number of flight delays, we had a wonderful time. Alex's birthday was July 2 and we had steak and lobster here at our house. Thats one thing I never experienced in Arkansas growing up....bringing home live lobster from the local grocery store, throwing them into a huge pot of boiling water, and minutes later enjoying a delicious meal. Even though Alex cooked his own birthday dinner, along with the help of my Mom and Dad, he truly enjoyed it. (the only reason my name was absent from the list of cooks was because I was at work during the preparation :)).

Two days later was the 4th of July and one other perk of living here (besides the lobster) is being 45 minutes away from the Boston Pops Concert and fireworks show held on the 4th in downtown Boston. We, along with half a million other people flooded the streets of Boston that day. I was a little hesitant about doing this with the kids. We attempted it a few years ago but didn't last till the finale. My kiddos were burnt out before the concert even started, so we came home. But, when I found out that Rascal Flatts were going to be there, I decided it was worth the effort. :) And I'm so glad we did. It was awesome! My parents couldn't imagine being in the Boston area on the 4th of July and not participating in these festivities, so it was also worth it because they wanted to do it so badly.

We also spent time at the beach, the zoo, the mall, the IMAX, and had so much fun playing Scattegories and Boulderdash after the kids went to bed. We sure laughed alot. Just wish the time didn't go by so fast.

I'm sure my mom and dad's favorite part the the trip was spending time with their grandsons. My boys were really sad to see them go. Just today, Micah and I were driving into the grocery store parking lot and he said, "Pa Pa here? Pa Pa here Daddy's birthday." My dad went with Alex and Micah to buy the lobster the day of Alex's birthday. So now Micah will be reminded of Pa Pa every time he goes to Market Basket.

Gotta get the kids in the bathtub, so I will post more at another time.

I'm Back

Well, my life will be back to normal starting tomorrow, so I will get back to postin this week. Did you miss me? :)

If Only It Were True

As Josiah was watching me stir in the ingredients to our family favorite Ghiradelli Double Chocolate Brownies, he eagerly informed me that, "See, Momma, brownies ARE good for you because they have water as an ingredient and water is very good for you."

What Would You Do?

On Tuesday morning, while my mom and dad were at work, their home was broken into. After completely ransacking the computer room and my mom and dad's bedroom, the theives took off with the computer, digital camera (a week before my parents are coming here to visit and will most definitely want to take about 100 pictures), and most of my mom's jewelry. My mom may have actually interrupted their quest because the stereo was lying on the floor in the living room...who knows. The police came out and got some really great fingerprints and a perfect palm print from the window they broke to enter the house. I sure hope they find who did this!!!!

As my mom entered the house, she didn't initially notice anything....that is until she went to turn on the tv (to fox news, her favorite channel :)), and it wouldn't turn on. Thats when she looked closer and notice the stereo. Thinking it was a little strange, she began to search the rest of the house. She entered the first bedroom, my brother's old room, and thats when she knew something was wrong. The comforter on the bed was lifted up, drawers were open, and I believe that was the room with the broken window. She continued through the house until she got to the two rooms that were an awful mess. Now, let me pose this question to you. Would you, like my crazy but very strong and brave mother, begin searching the house, or would you do like I would do and get the friggin heck out of there immediately upon the observation that something was not right. My husband and my sister would wimp out like me. What would you do?

Express Your Creativity

I posted the other day about Jacob's "Day of the Arts" event that his school hosted last week. Here are two paintings that Alex "won" in the silent auction. (I'm sure its no surprise that every parent goes home with his/her child's artwork :))





Jacob's school does an awesome thing by getting the students' artwork framed for this occasion and it makes it look so nice. They really are a special group of people, for so many reasons!

So, what would you name each piece of art?

Decisions, Decisions

Yesterday, Friday June 20, was a very eventful day for the Aaron clan. It was Josiah's last day of kindergarten and his school had planned a fun-filled "Field Day" to celebrate the completion of another school year and parents were invited to attend. Well, Alex and I already had plans to attend "A Day of the Arts" at Jacob's school, where they have a silent auction at the students' "art gallery" and they were to perform "The Wizard of Oz." Assuming that Josiah would be distracted by relay races and obstacle courses, I really didn't think he would mind if Alex and I were absent from his festivities. I was wrong. On Thursday evening, when I informed Josiah that his dad and I would be going to Jacob's school the next day, he look disappointed...but not for long because he had a "great idea." It went something like this:

(said with much enthusiasm) "Momma, I have a great idea! You and Daddy can
split up tomorrow. One of you can go to my school and one of you can go to
Jacob's school. And since Daddy has already been to my school this week, I
think he should go to Jacob's school and you should go to my school. And then
Daddy can tell you what happened at Jacob's school and you can tell him what
happened at my school."

How in the world can you argue with that logic. And the clincher was when he informed me that he would feel left out if eveyone else's parents were there and his weren't. Well, needless to say I attended "Field Day" with Josiah and it was alot of fun. Although I was a little disappointed that I missed Jacob's play (I was really looking foward to watching 40 autistic kids perfom "The Wizard of Oz" :)), I know I made the right decision. I would never want to let one of my children down. The sacrifices we make as parents... :)

Those Stinkin Ticks!

Well, today Alex took Josiah in to see his doctor because I thought he had ringworm and his school nurse thought he had conjunctivitis. We were both wrong. The rash he has is due to the fact that he actually has Lyme Disease and his eye issues were due to allergies. Little did I know that Lyme Disease is very prevalent in Southern New England. I now officially hate ticks!

Being raised in Arkansas, and having large outdoor dogs, and having acres of woods as my backyard, ticks were an everyday experience for me. Didn't think anything of pulling a tick off myself. I didn't have anything against them. Well, actually I do remember getting mad at a tick once, but didn't want to kill it. I wanted to torture it, so I attempted to burst its eardrums by holding it right up to my mouth and yelling really loud. :) (Mom, are you laughing out loud right now?) So, I guess maybe I have never liked ticks, after all. And now that one has infected my baby, I am not a happy camper.

Does anyone have any knowledge or have any experience with Lyme Disease? I am so hoping we caught it early enough that Josiah won't have any lasting effects.

My Gold Medalist

When I was around 10 years old I had convinced myself that I was going to be competing in the 1988 Summer Olympic Games as a gymnast. Shortly after, I decided that spending 5 days/week at the gym for hours at a time was not what I wanted to do. I wanted to be able to do other things (and hence becoming the jack of all trades, master of none, that I am). So those 7 years of gymnastics training went right down the tubes. But little did I know that I would someday have a son who would compete in the greatest "games" of all....the Special Olympics. Jacob competed today in his 3rd Olympics and came home with a gold and silver medal. He may not realize exactly what he has accomplished, but he makes Alex and I so proud. Watching these kids compete is an absolutely amazing experience. We enjoy it so much. If I wasn't so paranoid about putting pictures of my kids online, I would post a video of Jacob doing the 50 meter "stroll." (there was not much dashing involved :))Take my word for it...he was the cutest competitor there!

Plans, Anyone?

With gas prices now at a record high $4.00/gallon, anyone have any fun special trips planned for the summer? (too bad ya'll can't hear the sarcastic tone in my voice) The horribly sticky hot weather over the last couple of days reminds me of summers in Arkansas, which reminds me of the lake, which reminds me of camping, which reminds me of family, which reminds me of fun times, which reminds me that fun times cost money, which reminds me that all of mine is going into my gas tank. Good thing my parents are coming here in a couple of weeks, cause I don't think we will be going anywhere this summer thats not necessary. (do you sense the pitty party? :)) Hope it cools off some though. My mom and dad are not used to the New England "no central air" way of life. We're gonna have so much fun, though, no matter how hot it is, and no matter how much we'll be paying for gas by then. I can't wait!

Go Figure!

Josiah's kindergarten class has been studying nature over the last few weeks. They actually have a greenhouse right outside their classroom where they planted marigolds for us moms for Mother's Day. And in studying nature, there has been an emphasis on protecting our environment. I have been told on a number of occasions recently that my Dr. Pepper can or my plastic cup does not belong in the trash. Let's just say Josiah has become the recycle police.

So, becoming a better steward of God's creation is something that has been on my mind lately, and many things that are bad for our environment are also bad for our bodies. So, ironically, the other day I was spraying some Clorox Cleanup on my kitchen counter. It was almost all gone, so I opened it up and poured some directly onto the counter. Inhaling the fumes caused my chest to hurt and I wheezed all night long. So, the next day I went to my favorite place, Target, and bought some all natural "green" multi-purpose cleaner. I felt so good using this product, knowing that my kids were not inhaling harmful fumes, until Alex brought something to my attention. He informed my that he, on occasion, will use a handy cleaning product to spray insects that he sees around the house. The Clorox Cleanup didn't phase those puppies, but my wonderful "green" product killed them instantly. Go figure! Anyone know of a natural cleaning product that won't strike an ant dead in a split second? :)

Just Listening

The other day I overheard Josiah teaching Micah about compound words and the 3 parts to an ant (they are the head, thorax, and abdomen in case you didn't know). Josiah is convinced that he will be an astronaunt when he grows up, but he's definitely got the desire to teach his brother everything he knows. I just love to listen to that interaction.

I also love to hear Micah's reaction when Jacob goes to the bathroom. He, so sincerely, yells out, "YEAH! Jacob pee pee on potty. Good job, Bub!" Its so sweet!

And on that note, one other sound that I love to hear is the toilet flushing...meaning that Jacob is independently, on a REGULAR BASIS, going to the bathroom (#1) on his own. There have been times that I thought this would never happen and he proved me wrong.

And one of the greatest sounds of all is the laughter of my three children when they are chasing one another, wrestling with each other, and just enjoying one other.

Sometimes its so refreshing to just sit back and listen.

Monkey See, Monkey Do

I have so enjoyed watching the way Micah tries so intently to do eveything Josiah does. I've often wondered how well they would truly enjoy each other, given that there is a 4 year age difference. Fortunately, they play so well together and Micah's "type" of play is EXACTLY like Josiah's. I know they are brothers after all, but so much of the similarities I am referring to, I believe, are a product Micah's observing his big brother. It is really fun to watch. And although there are some behaviors I don't want Micah imitating, he has such a good role model in Josiah. The other night we were eating fried chicken and Josiah was chowing down on a chicken leg. We mostly eat boneless chicken, so he hasn't had much practice eating chicken off the bone. He bit down firmly on the bone and then proceeded to complain about needing some floss because he had a piece of bone between his teeth. Within a minute, Micah, too was complaining of an boo boo in HIS mouth. :)

This is off the subject, but Josiah just came into my room with a huge grin on his face because he completely, independently tied his own shoe. I bought him some NON-velcro shoes today so he had no choice. We've kinda been struggling with this process, but he finally did it. Yeah, Josiah.

Things That Excite A Working Mother of Three

However mundane this post may be to some of you, I thought I would go ahead with it. Here it goes: I am not the most disciplined person on this planet, so I struggle on a daily basis with getting behind and becoming overwhelmed with things like housework, laundary, paying bills, grocery shopping, etc. I don't like that about myself and I often daydream about having it "all together." How much nicer life would be... But, to be honest, I don't long for perfection in this area...I just want to be on top of things to the best of my ability, and I know I have not been giving it my all. Now, I'm not asking for you to analyze me and try to figure out the "whys" and "hows" of my behavior (although feel free if you want to take the time :)), I just thought I would ask my readers (however few it may be) to help "share your wealth" of knowledge/experience, especially where housekeeping is concerned. Do you have any daily chore that helps keep you caught up throughout the week? Any advise on grocery shopping, keeping up with the laundary, or being able to get to bed before midnight? What motivates you to get movin? And I'm hoping that this will benefit more than me. Please tell me that you are not all perfect. :)

I will start:
I set my kitchen timer for 5/10/15 minutes, however much time I've got at that particular moment, and do something in each room of my house. Its amazing how much you can accomplish in just 5 minutes.

Cool Church

On Tuesday evening I was sitting on the couch, relaxing, watching TV, and Josiah entered the room. He stared at the TV for a few seconds and then commented, "That guy's gotta a cool church!" Then I proceeded to tell him that it wasn't a church...it was American Idol. :) They did "have church" a few weeks ago when they sang "Shout to the Lord." Did anyone see that?

Just Recording Some Significant Happenings

On Tuesday, Josiah met and had his picture taken with Dustin Pedroia, Red Sox 2nd baseman. He gave him a high-five which Josiah was extremely proud of. He says that he now has 2 favorite Red Sox: Big Papi and Dustin Pedroia. Big Papi, by the way, will be replaced one day by Josiah (according to Josiah) :)

Twice this week, I heard the toilet flush soon after Jacob went up the stairs. And knowing that I didn't flush the toilet and neither did Alex, Josiah, or Micah, process of elimination (no pun intended) told me that Jacob did. He went to "go potty" without being told...which has never happened. We usually set a timer and when the timer goes off he is told to go pee and he does. So, doing this independently was HUGE!

Today Josiah reached the milestone of having the training wheels taken off his bike and did great! No battle wounds to show for it, fortunately.

Alex got a $2.00/hr raise at one of his jobs, which will be a big help to us. Thank you, Jesus!

That's Pretty Smart

My sister, Jaime: (speaking to her 5 year old son, Sam) "Sam, you are really smart!"

Sam: "Yeah, I am really, really, really smart. But, Daddy's the smartest. He is
really, really, really, really, really, really smart."

Jaime: "So, what about me?"

Sam: "You're a little smart. You're smart at wiping booties." (and imagine this coming from the cutest little hickey, southern accent):)

Business As Usual

I'll make this short and sweet. Our meeting today went really well. Jacob will be able to continue going to his current school, we get to keep our wonderful home therapist for the same amount of time each week, and there were no changes to his transportation. We determined what his goals for next year will be and life goes on as usual for my precious baby boy. No transitions and no cutting of services. Praise God! We are so thankful. Thanks to all who lifted us up in prayer today.

Just What I Needed

The following is an e-mail I received today from a subscription I have to childrenofdestiny.org. This website e-mails daily prayers to its subscribers for autistic children and their families. Anyone can subscribe and they include two different prayers - one for the parents themselves and one for extended family and friends. To get a better idea of what I mean just read on. Today's prayer was exactly what I needed considering what we will be going through on Thursday.

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

“Therefore may God give you of the dew of heaven, of the fatness of the earth, and plenty of grain and wine.” (Gen. 27:28).

PARENT’S PRAYER:

Father,
We thank you that just as the dew falls from heaven, so does the abundance of your provision and supply for our lives. Therefore, Lord, we ask that you would provide all that we need in our situation. Lord, we ask that you would provide all the funds we need to help _______ move forward. We pray that you would supply all the professional help we need, especially (name a few needs, such as good school administration, teachers, therapists, doctors, advocates, pastors, lawyers, etc.). Father, we ask that you would provide each member of our family with all the patience, love, kindness, and understanding that we need to have with each other and with ________. We thank you that just as the dew falls anew each morning, that you would supply every one of our needs anew each day. We praise you for your unfailing love and faithfulness to us.
In Jesus’ Name,
Amen



FAMILY/FRIEND’S PRAYER:

Father,
I thank you that just as the dew falls from heaven, so does the abundance of your provision and supply for the _______ family. Therefore, Lord, I ask that you would provide all that they need in their situation. Lord, I ask that you would provide all the funds they need to help [child’s name] move forward. I pray that you would supply all the professional help they may need, especially (name a few needs, such as good school administration, teachers, therapists, doctors, advocates, pastors, lawyers, etc.). Father, I ask that you would provide each member of their family with all the patience, love, kindness, and understanding that they need to have with each other and with [child’s name]. I thank you that just as the dew falls anew each morning, that you would supply every one of their needs anew each day. I praise you for your unfailing love and faithfulness.
In Jesus’ Name,
Amen

Thursday Afternoon

As most of you are aware, back in September Alex and I moved just a few miles down the road from where we previously lived, but its in a different town, therefore a different school district. This coming Thursday we will be having a meeting with the special education director for Jacob's annual IEP (Individualized Educational Plan) meeting. Up until now our previous school district has been funding Jacob's schooling (he was outplaced to a wonderful private school) and home-based services, but now its time for our new district to take over. I would really appreciate your prayers on this day. We want Jacob to continue having the same services he has been getting for the past two years, and we really hope this new district will be in agreement with us. I have no reason to think that they will "fight" what has already been in place, but you never know. Josiah started kindergarten here in the fall and I have been nothing but impressed with his elementary school, so hopefully the special education department will be no different.

At this meeting there will representatives there from the school district, the school Jacob is attending, his home services, and, obviously, Alex and me. Its really an awesome thought knowing that there will be so many people in one room advocating for Jacob and coming together to put in place the perfect plan for him. He really does have so many who care for him. For those of you who don't know Jacob, I promise, you would fall in love with him immediately. So, when you think of us this week, say a little prayer.

Righty or Lefty

During Josiah first t-ball game this morning (actually it was more like a practice), I had a good laugh watching his coaches try to figure out if he was right or left handed. They would ask each player his/her hand preference and then proceed to show them how to stand, hold the bat, and swing. When Josiah's turn came, they asked him the question and he answered, "both." They had him swing both ways and not so easily determined he should bat left handed. Now we have had the toughest time over the last few years trying to determine his hand preference, but after he began writing with his right hand, we thought we had it figured out. Although, he still does some things just as well with his left hand, liking throwing a baseball. Seeing as I spent $20 on Friday on a right-handed baseball glove, we will continue to foster that right-handed throw :), but looks like we have a switch hitter on our hands.

Converting Poop Into Energy

I don't know if ya'll are aware of how much I HATE POOP! I mean, I'm glad that it exists in that we have a way to get rid of waste in our bodies, but I am sick and tired of cleaning it off of bottoms (and arms and legs and hands for that matter). Jacob is not poop trained yet, and even though Micah is I still have to clean him up afterwards...and he is still mostly "doing his duty" in his little potty and sometimes he doesn't sit on it straight if you know what I mean. Anyway, the other day I saw a story on the news about this place that was converting cow poop into an alternative energy source and it was being used to heat and cool homes in the area. If only I had the brains and resources to do this...I could "create" enough energy for me AND you for the next ten years. Talk about making lemonade out of lemons.

The Roller Coaster

Josiah woke up Saturday morning moaning, not wanting to get out of bed. He said he didn't get any sleep because I wouldn't let him have ice cream at 8:00 the night before, so he was hungry all night long. And because he couldn't sleep he was thinking about the Little League Parade and Opening Ceremonies that were to be held on Saturday morning, something he was not looking foward to.

Josiah, an hour before the festivities: "I don't want to play t-ball. I don't know how to play and I won't be any good. And I KNOW I will NOT HAVE FUN!"

Josiah, this evening before bedtime: "I wish tomorrow was next Saturday already, so I can PLAY T-BALL!!!!!"

I wonder where he gets that emotional up and down tendency. :)

Just To Make You Smile

This video is so precious. You won't regret taking a look. Enjoy!

What Do YOU Think?

So, tell me what you think. In this world we live in, is it more about how talented one may be, how much potential one may have, how intelligent one may be OR is it who you know that allows great opportunities to come your way? It really frustrates me when I see people in positions (especially in ministerial positions) that are only there because of who they know. Now if that person were to also have the qualifications for the job, then more power to 'em. But I have recently seen too many examples of the opposite. Does experience and education mean anything?

If Only I Could Read His Mind

I need some help distinguishing the motives of my 2 year old. Whenever he is misbehaving and I have completed my disciplinary action, he tends to find a way to make eye contact with me from his little "time-out spot," reaches out both hands, and in the sweetest (or most pathetic) little voice he says, "Momma, hug? hug?" So, my question is...is this manipulation or is he sincerely wanting to feel secure in my arms? Now, one would think that I have figured this kind of thing out by now...he is my third child, after all, but each is so different. I know that I am not going to scar my child by not immediately going over to him, but I would love to know what goes on in a 2 year old mind...as scary as it may be.

Pirates of Praise

Check out this "infomercial" that my brother-in-law and his brothers put together. My brother-in-law is the "truck driver" that gives a testimonial at the end, and my precious little nephew has a cameo to end it all.

We were all sick and didn't make it to church today, but we had church with the pirates. Watch and see what I mean. :)

I Am So Fickle

When I started this blog, my intent was for my posts to give an accurate picture of my life as a whole - not to just relay happy thoughts, but real thoughts. Well, after I published my last post about how much I enjoy my family, the tides quickly turned. That evening this thought crossed my mind, "If I hear the word 'momma' one more time (especially in that whiny tone) I am going to lose my ever-lovin mind." I feel so guilty at times because I eagerly anticipate 8:00pm. The last thing I want to be known as is a selfish mom. I sure hope I don't come across that way to my kids.

And just to drive this point even further, I just had to get up from the computer to change my 7 year old's poopy underwear - something I absolutey do NOT enjoy. For those of you who have never done that, its disgusting - far different from 1 year old poop.

And if I ever saw my husband, I'm sure he would have done something to irritate me over the last few days. I don't say all this because I hate my life...just being real.

Family Time

This is one of the fun family-time adventures we took part in this past weekend. And I say adventure because when I take my three crazy boys anywhere there is never a dull moment. I would highly recommend this movie. It was great!




We had alot of fun. The last movie we saw in the theater with the entire family was Cars and although Jacob sat appropriately and behaved very well for the first half of the movie, I ended up taking him for a walk during the second half. Not this time. He sat, stuffed his face with popcorn and coke, and actually enjoyed himself for the ENTIRE movie. It was wonderful!

I really do have an awesome family. I just feel like bragging a little. We have so much fun together. And although my kids (and husband :) ) challenge me in many different ways, I enjoy them so much!

Just Call Me Mrs. Frugal

I just now got around to uploading our Easter pictures onto our computer, and in the process of deciding which ones to post to my myspace page I was reminded of something that I was quite proud of. Even though I may be guilty of wasting money here and there, like at Starbucks or the frequent run through a drive-thru for a fountain Dr. Pepper, I do have a desire to be frugal.

Shortly after Valentine's Day I began picking up little things for my kids' Easter baskets everytime I went into Target. I'm usually accomplishing this particular task the day before Easter, but I wanted to spread the expense out over a few weeks this time. Josiah and Micah love stuffed animals. They can pretend play with these "pals" for hours. So, they usually get some sort of stuffed bunny in their baskets. This year, I thought I would try something different. When all the Valentine's Day "stuff" was 90% off I found 2 cute little stuffed lions with hearts attached that contained some mushy Valentine's phrase. After some minor surgery, they looked like any other (red and purple) lion and the kids loved them. I got so excited when I saw the stuffed bunnies in the store Easter weekend and they were mostly between $5.99 and $15.99 and I only paid .50 for my lions.

This may be a normal situation for some of you moms (or dads) out there, but I don't usually plan this far in advance and it was quite exciting to see the savings. Hopefully this is the beginning of a new practice.

Here To Stay?

...the nice weather, that it. What a beautiful day we had here today! I was unable to enjoy it because I was indoors at work all day, but Alex and the boys spent the afternoon tossing a baseball, kicking a beachball, running around the yard....what wonderful signs of spring. I am so thrilled because Alex will probably be taking Saturdays off from now on. He has worked 6 days a week, which includes evenings, far too long. And what perfect timing with the weather improving. We've already purchased our season pass to the zoo, we went our for ice cream on Sunday evening, and have even begun some spring cleaning around the house. Our schedules have been such that we are never all here at the same time. Thats not a good thing! Josiah was setting the table on Sunday afternoon and he paused for a moment, looked at his dad and me, and said, "Hey, this is going to be a nice family dinner." Yes it was, and there will be many more to come, including picnics on the beach, Josiah's favorite "meal."

The Fairy Tale Begins

The introductory sentence to Josiah's short story:

"Once a bono tiyme there wus a king..." :)

I am truly amazed at how much information has been soaked into that little brain so far during this kindergarten year.

One Out of Four Ain't Bad

Today when Jacob got home from school there was a little plastic bag in his backpack with a tiny little treasure chest in it. As many of you could probably guess, it contained a tiny baby tooth that Jacob had lost at school today. Now, its not the first tooth for him to lose. Its his fourth, but its the first that I have actually seen outside of his mouth. Where the first three have gone...I have no idea. Imagine going to brush your son or daughter's teeth at night, realizing that something is missing and he/she didn't come and tell you about it, he/she may not have even noticed, and he/she has no interest or understanding of a tooth fairy. Jacob may have no interest, but I am so glad to finally have a tooth. And Josiah is excited to finally have something to put under Jacob's pillow tonight.

Is It Actually Happening To Me?

As I was putting my makeup on this morning, I made an awful and actually very surprising discovery....my jawline is no longer defined! I mean, I know I am not at my ideal weight, but I had no idea that my face and my neck had developed such a close relationship. And a few months ago I began to notice the wrinkles around my eyes, and (sorry, Mom) my hands were beginning to look like my mother's. Does this sort of thing really start at age 34? I had no idea. I don't think I have ever really thought about getting old. And now that the signs are around me, its not that pleasant of a thought. But, I then look at my mom and dad, who are in their late 50's, and they are in great shape, better than me, and are very active and "young." So, hopfully genetics will play a part in my aging process.

When I noticed the not-so-perfect condition of my eyes, Christmas was right around the corner. I told my mom I wanted a really good skin care treatment, anything that would help start reversing the aging of my skin. I have a great life, but it is a stressful one. So, I expect my face shows and will continue to show my struggles. I've been using the product my mom got for me and I love it. Thanks, Mom.

I guess, to be fair, I must mention that my co-worker and I were talking the other day about having babies and I mentioned that I had my first at age 26. And knowing that I have 3 children, she asked, with a confused look on her face, "How old ARE you?" I told her 34 and she, being in her mid-20's, told me she thought I was her age. I really needed that!!

So, maybe there is hope for me. If I continue to lose weight and keep using my skin care products....who knows. Maybe I'll be mistaken for 21 next time. Ok, back to reality.

For Those of You Who Don't Know

Check out the following video post from Just a Girl. She is another Southerner living in New England and she has created a wonderful tutorial explaining the conjuction "ya'll." Its really funny. Hope ya'll learn something . :)

Wise Beyond His Years

Just thought I would share Micah's most recently learned phrase...."Yankees Yucky!" His father and I are so proud! :) "Train up child in the way he should go...." :) Go Sox!!!!!

I Love Good News

As many of you know, my youngest son was born with a congenital defect of one of his vertebrae. During the process of his getting diagnosed we also found out he only has one kidney. This was all discovered shortly after he turned one. He is now 2 1/2 and over the past year and a half he has undergone many x-rays, and MRI, an ultrasound, an ecocardiogram, a series of awful tests to check to see if his only kidney was functioning properly (and it was...perfectly :)), and many evaluations. Fortunately his doctor, at Boston Children's Hospital, is one of the top orthopedic surgeons in the country - one very good benefit of staying in this area.

After ruling out some congenital syndromes that could have been much more serious than a defective vertabrae, his doctor told us that surgery was inevitable. Now my oldest son was born with a cleft palate which was repaired when he was 12 months old, and I was a complete basket case the night before his surgery. And while what Jacob went through was major surgery, it seems minor compared to back surgery. Needless to say I am a bit anxious about the whole thing.

Initially his doctor thought surgery would need to occur within 6 months. He assumed that every time Micah came into his office to have an x-ray/check-up, that his back would have gotten progressively worse. Well, in September the x-ray showed a slight improvement, which was not "normal" for this condition. Last Friday he had another x-ray and there was, again, a slight improvement, which gave his doctor the confidence to tell us that Micah didn't need to be checked again for an entire year. I am so thankful! Surgery still seems inevitable, but the older he is, the better I'll feel about it. And who knows, this "flicted" vertabrae (as I like to call it) could continue to improve. I'm just grateful for any good news that comes my way. The doctor told us last week that Micah's got about a mild a case as one could get with this condition. Thank God!!!!

It reminds me of when I had an area of basel cell carcinoma removed from my arm. The doctor told me, "If you going to get cancer, this is the one to get." To me, that is good news!

I Want My Mommy

My mother and my mother-in-law are both very wonderful people. I have alot of fun with both of them and I truly love their company. I think they know that. But, the reason I want (need) them in my life right now, and by "in my life" I mean living within a 10 mile proximity, has nothing to do with my enjoyment of them as people (no offense), but it has to do with their love for their grandchildren. Ok, maybe its their love for me. Why am I beating around the bush here? I NEED BABYSITTERS! One of the biggest stresses in my life is finding someone to watch my children. I despise the whole process with a passion. While its hard to find someone with whom I feel comfortable watching Jacob, who has autism, my biggest need right now is finding someone to watch my youngest, who is 2, so my husband and I can both work during the day. And I know everyone is well aware that its actually not financially worth it most of the time to hire someone or put your child in daycare. Alex and I so desire to have grandparents near by. For those of you who live close to your parents or in-laws, please don't take it for granted...appreciate it! I know that "life is always greener on the other side," but I know for certain that having grandparents in our life would make it so much easier. That and winning the lottery. Whoever said money doesn't buy happiness doesn't know what in the world he/she is talking about. :)

I've Been Tagged

I have been tagged by my friend Amy at Life and Times of Life at Home and my "assignment" is to create a 6 word memoir of myself. Here it goes...

Strong

Jack of all trades, master of none

(does that count as one word?)

Honest

Musical

Biased

(I think my children are God's greatest creations)

Fun

(at least to those who know me best)

Here are the rules:

1. Write your own six word memoir
2. Post it on your blog and include a visual illustration if you’d like
3. Link to the person that tagged you in your post
4. Tag five more blogs with links
5. Remember to leave a comment on the tagged blogs with an invitation to play.

I tag:

Sarah
Ashley
Kit
Joanna
Carrie

Have fun!!

Is It Really Worth It?

I've happened to "stumble" upon the new game show "Moment of Truth" the last couple of weeks, and while a part of me is very curious and quite interested in the show, another part of me cringes at certain points. The premise of the show is telling the truth, based on a lie detector test, and making lots money despite the fact that the truth has the ability to destroy every relationship that one may have. The truths that are revealed are very personal and the overall theme seems to be lies and betrayal. While it makes for good television, as I am guilty of watching, something is very wrong here. My biggest issue with the show is the family's, and especially the audience's, reaction to the announcement that the truth has been told. Here is an example:

The host: "Have you ever had sexual relations with the wife of one of your friends?"

The contestant: (after a much suspensful pause for effect) "yes."

The "voice": "That answer is.......true."
(the audience cheers as the contestant has just won $10,000.)

Now some of the questions are much more innocent that this, but even the contestant's supporters, who often consist of a spouse, girl/boyfriend, mom, dad, sibling, or best friend, are often seen applauding. And why??? The almighty dollar! Should we ever, for any reason, celebrate betrayal? I think not! While those who cheer may never admit to celebrating the actions of the individual, they are condoning it because of the monatary outcome it may provide for the contestant....disgusting!

And yes, Mom, I will probably continue to watch on occasion :)

While we're on the subject...Do you think it could ever be beneficial to keep a truth from someone you love, especially it the truth may hurt that person?

The Past Week

I just realized it has been a few days since I've posted anything. Just a few little tid bits of what's happened over the past week:


1.Made a midnight rush to the store after realizing that one of my children was getting jipped for Easter (poor Josiah... and he is the only one who really cares about that sort of thing)

2. Watched some college basketball while my husband cooked a pork tenderloin for Easter dinner :)

3. Called my Aunt Barbara to wish her a happy 60th birthday.

4. Jacob pooped on the potty for the very first time (albeit an enema was involved)

5. Received my "prize" from my friend Amy. (for those who are unaware, click here)

6.Watched Dancing With the Stars and American Idol, but had to miss John and Kate +8.

7.Purposefully did not weigh myself on Monday because I pigged out on Sunday.

8.Got extremely behind on laundary which I've realized now that I'm working this will be a weekly ritual.

That about sums it up without getting carried away.

Too Funny Not to Mention...Despite the Gross Factor

One of the reasons I started this blog was to provide a way, an easy way, to record all the cute, funny things that my kids do and say. I haven't done much of that yet, but I plan on making that a priority. And thankfully my kids are young enough not to be completely embarassed about my telling others these stories. That time will come, I'm sure.

The following is a short conversation between me and Josiah:

Josiah: "Mom, my bottom started itching a little while ago."
Mom: "Well, let me take a look at it.... Yep, it does look a little red and chapped."
Josiah: (looking horrified) "I have absolutely never licked my butt hole in my whole life."
Mom: (laughing very hard) "Alex, you've gotta hear this..."

I've always told him that licking his lips would make them chapped. :)

Music To My Ears

Jacob said "bath" the other day for the first time!!!!! (and yesterday as well) Well, actually it was more of a "ba, ba, ba." But, it was an obvious attempt to communicate IN WORDS to us that he wanted a bath, as he was stripping his clothes off. Even though he has done this sort of thing in the past with words like "mama" and "bye bye," only to not ever say those words again, or having months go by before you hear it again, I still get extremely proud of by baby when a word or a word approximation comes out of his mouth. He really is trying. We just need to pray for a true breakthrough. Will you join me?

Quick Update

No pounds lost this week, but none gained. Guess thats what happens when one is doing Weight Watchers flexpoints and he/she doesn't count points for a week. The frustrating thing is that when I stick to it, I do very well, losing 2-3 lbs/week. I've just gotta stick with it for more than 1 week at a time. Its been a 1 week on, 1 week off kinda thing for me. I've gotta change that rountine! So, still a grand total of 12 lbs lost.

It Pays to Comment :)

Check out a post by my friend, Amy. She had a contest honoring the 2 year anniversary of her blog.... and guess what? I won...by doing absolutely nothing but posting a comment. Just thought there would be some of you who would be interested in checking out her blog about it because she posted some pics of us in college. The trip down memory lane was alot of fun. I guess maybe I should have some contest to get people to comment on my blog. (hint, hint - to all you readers who don't do so :))

The Dreaded Dental Cleaning

Most of you know that I work in a dental office and have been doing so for close to 5 years now, with the exception of last year. I feel very comfortable in this particular setting...that is until I take Jacob in for a cleaning. He can get pretty freaked out by the entire process. Upon entering the waiting room his poor little body begins to shake like a leaf. He will not open his mouth upon request and has even bitten the hygienist's finger before and, yes, there was blood involved. One time, when we first visited a dental surgeon, the doctor actually performed his exam of Jacob's mouth on the floor because thats where Jacob was, shirtless I might add because the struggle to get Jacob to the exam room caused him to wiggle out of his shirt. (just wanted to clarify that Jacob was shirtless, not the doctor) I honestly laughed so hard at this experience upon leaving the office. It was quite humorous even though it was stressful.

I feel really sad for Jacob. I don't want him to be afraid. Even though I don't really know all that he's capable of understanding, its much more than I give him credit for. So, I talk to him in the car all the way to his appointments, explaining to him all that will take place. This really seems to help. Fortunately he CAN do very well depending on the day. There have been times when he has totally blown me away with his compliance and good behavior. Well, he has an appointment tomorrow for a cleaning, so lets hope he's having one of his good days, not so much for my sake, but for his.

Better News This Week

Well, after my 4/10 of a gain last week, I got rid of 2.6 pounds this week. That is, as of this past Friday. My scale was drowned yesterday by a big glass of orange juice and consequently was not working this morning on weigh-in day. But, having an issue with being tempted to step on the scale throughout the week (which is a no-no), I was able to discover the loss of 2.6 pounds. So, my grand total is 12 lbs lost. I'm just starting to be able to tell a difference in the way my clothes fit. Thats a lot of fun! :)

A Day in the Life of Me

Alex and I have been a one car family for over a month now. His escort has needed a new alternator and we have just been putting off the expense. Today was the day that we had made plans to try and get the battery charged enough to get it to our mechanic. I also had quite a bit of running around to do since I started my new job this week and have had no time to run errands. When I get home from work around 5:30, I meet my husband in the yard, give him a peck on lips, he hops into our only working vehicle and goes to work, leaving me stranded. So I have not been able to go to the grocery store all week, and since I am not the most organized person in the world, I didn't plan appropriately and make sure our cubbards were full last weekend before I started my job.

Alex had a physical therapy appointment scheduled at 11:30 (he hurt his back at work a few weeks ago), and then he had to be at work at 2:00. We thought we would jump start the car, let it charge for about 1/2 hour, take it to our mechanic, Alex would then drop me off at the grocery store, go to his appointment, pick me up from the grocery store, we would go home, and then he would go to work. Sounds busy, but very doable. Well, guess what I discovered this morning before dragging Alex out of bed. Our one and only working vehicle was parked nicely next to our broken down vehicle and what did I see?...a flat tire! And we don't carry a spare, just a little temporary doughnut.

I will try and make the rest of this story as short as I can. Needless to say we were frustrated. But our plan could still be carried out after Alex changes the tire. Well after charging his escort for about 20 minutes, he removed the jumper cables and his car didn't die...good sign, right? About 5 minutes later it was dead again. Before we started the process all over, Alex wanted to change the flat on the van. While doing so he noticed one of the lug nuts was stripped and he couldn't get it tightened like he should. He didn't like that discovery too much.

Well, we finally got the battery in his car to keep the charge so we raced to our mechanic even though we shouldn't have been racing with a temporary tire and a loose lug nut on one of our vehicles. By this time Alex had cancellled his PT appointment. And since our mechanic no longer "does tires," we had to take the van to someone else. Fortunately there is a little place just about a couple of miles from our house. I drop off Alex and Micah, who is snoozing, at home and then go try and get a new tire. They tell me it will take about an hour a half for the tire to get to them since they had to order it. I'm not making this a short story, am I?

I go home to get my grocery list, thinking I could do that while waiting for the tire to arrive. Alex doesn't feel at all comfortable with my driving the van in its "condition." So, I don't go to the grocery store. Oh, by the way, by this point Alex has called in "late" to work. Well, we wait and wait and wait and 3 hours later the tire finally arrives. I received this anticipated information within minutes after getting the phone call from our mechanic telling us it will cost $420 to repair the escort.

I go get the new tire put on and go directly to the grocery store. Its now around 4:00 pm. There is not a lick of food in the house and Alex and Jacob's therapist (who comes to our house 3 times a week) are trying to entertain 3 very hungry, very cranky little boys. I get home around 5:30 and boy did I get alot of help carrying the groceries in. Before I even turned off the ignition, it seemed as if people were coming out from nowhere to get these groceries in the house. And once that happened it was quite a sight. Alex and Jacob's therapist were obviously "fried," and 3 little boys were swarming over the grocery bags. Alex left for work, being 4 hours late, and I began opening string cheese, yogurt, and cheese-its. Have you ever had just a snack night for dinner?

Here I am now recording the day's "wonderful" events, not being able to figure out if the moral of my "story" is: 1. car trouble sucks!!!! or 2. don't ever run out of food with 4 boys in your home.

Remembering Papa Dink

My 94 year old step grandfather passed away early on Saturday morning. He was married to my grandmother for almost 32 years, so he has been apart of my family for close to my entire life. Just imagine a hard-working man living in rural southern Arkansas who loved to hunt, garden, and spend time with his grandkids. He owned his own company and worked until he was in his 80's. He and my grandma lived about 1/2 hour from where I lived as a child. Whenever we would drive over for the day, I would always know when Papa Dink would be home for lunch - within minutes of the town clock ringing 12:00 noon. My grandma would have a wonderful meal prepared for him. Lunch was the big meal of the day. He would take a quick snooze in his recliner and then back off to work. When he got home in the evenings he would tend to his garden. I always enjoyed it when he took me to join him there. I wish I would have actually paid attention to what he was doing because I cannot keep a plant from dying to save my life. He also had a passion for his grandkids.

We moved to Massachusetts when my older kids were 2 1/2 and 1 1/2 so they were unable to spend alot of time with him, but the time they were allowed was memorable. Josiah remembers Papa Dink driving him around the garden in his golf cart. Papa Dink had a very special place in his heart for Jacob. His love for him was very obvious and very refreshing. So many people shy away from interacting with him because they just don't know what to do or say. Not Papa Dink. I loved that so much. He and Alex got along very well. Since Alex has been involved in landscaping the past couple of years, they alway had lots to talk about. We will all miss him very much.

I sure wish I could have been there for the funeral on Monday, but hopefully everyone knew my thoughts were there. Just wanted to share a little bit about a great man.

Don't Ever Give Up Hope!

Click here to watch a very inspiring story of hope and perseverance. For every time I hear someone tell me that if an autistic child is not communicating by the time he/she enters first grade, I see or hear of a story like Carly's. I will never give up hope! Just thought I would share.

Oh My Goodness, Its Monday

Does this mean that I actually have to let everyone know that I gained 4/10 of a lb. Yep, I did. What was I thinking when I came up with the brilliant idea of broadcasting my weekly results? (just kidding, I'm not really that worried about 4/10 of a lb). And I have a whole week to redeem myself.

I started my new job today and I don't know what it is about being out there in the work force, being productive, and making a difference, (not that I'm tootin my own horn, its just that every person has a job to do and hopefully I will do mine well), but it makes me want to take better care of myself. I haven't had my hair cut in a year and a half...talk about a stringy mess. Its up in a dad burn clippy everyday. Josiah was looking at my wedding pics one day and he looked very puzzled and asked, "Momma, where's your clippy." I think its time to get a hair cut. :) Just wish the weight issue could be remedied as easily and quickly as the hair issue. But it sure will be worth it in the end.

Hopefully This is Only the Beginning

Well, I have been back on Weight Watchers, along with my husband, for a little over 5 weeks now. I had lost 22 lbs on the program a couple of years ago, but boy did the pounds creep back on, and they found some others to join them along the way! My husband and I don't go to the Weight Watcher meetings...we're just doing it on our own. The first two weeks were very successful. I really stuck to my points, kept record of everything I ate, and I lost 7 pounds...and then the dreaded Super Bowl entered the picture. I didn't think much of it at the time. I had saved up my flex points, feeling I was being very responsible, and allowed myself to "cheat" that evening, which is not really cheating because Weight Watchers allows you to do that sort of thing. I had barbequed ribs, jalepeno poppers, and chocalate chip cookies. Doesn't sound that bad, does it? But I have had the hardest time ever since. I'm telling you...its an addiction! I got a little piece of the "good ole life" and I haven't completely given that up.

Now, I have lost 3 more pounds since then, giving me a grand total of 10 pounds lost, but I'm struggling. I would like to make myself accountable to those of you who read my blog. I sorta kinda have a small pride issue, :) and I don't like others to know when I have failed. So, every Monday I am going to post my pounds lost. Now don't even think I'm going to tell you how much I weigh...WAY to prideful for that, especially with those of you who know me from my high school/college days. I don't want to be THAT accountable. :) But I will tell you that my goal is to loose 72 pounds. I know...its a whole lot!

I honestly think I have what it takes to be on The Biggest Loser. I thrive off of competition, I absolutely love to work out (especially when I would have a personal trainer), and doing it all in front of millions of people would SO motivate me to succeed. But, I also have what it doesn't take to be on that show...three kiddos and a husband that I couldn't be away from for that length of time. So, I thought the next best thing would be to put myself out there to the blogging world and be accountable to you. So, what do you say. You with me?

Back To Work

....at least part time. After looking for about a month, sending out a handful of resumes, and landing 4 interviews, I finally got that call today I have been eagerly anticipating...a voice on the other end saying, "I would like to offer you the job." After being home full-time for a year, I am now going back to work part-time. It will be a very productive 25 hours a week. Alex and I are in much need of some extra income, I desperately need some normal adult interaction, working does wonders for my self-esteem, and I truly feel that I am a more organized Mom when I am not home all day everyday. So, I guess you can say this is a good change for us.

Alex has been working two full-time jobs for a while now (one of which is seasonal - from April to December). We are not quite sure what his schedule will look like now, but he will definitely be able to spend more time with the kiddos. Josiah has been asking me lately when I'm going to "get work" again because he's tired of it just being the four of us without Daddy. I hope this change can begin to balance our lives out a little. And Alex is a miracle worker when it comes to potty training, so I expect that Micah will be completely trained within the next couple of weeks (he potty trained Josiah in a week and a half on vacation one year after I had to return home early for work). Thats completely hunky dory with me!

"Old School" Video Games...with a Veggie Twist

I am so "out of it" when it comes to current video games. I wouldn't know the different between a Playstation and a X-Box (although I did play some Guitar Hero over the holidays with my niece...wicked fun!!!!) I may be aging myself, but I'm all about Nintendo and even Atari (remember Frogger...my favorite!) For those who can relate, I have found an awesome website that has games that I can enjoy. Some of my favorites are Veggie Pile-Up, Jerry's Cheeseburgers, and Moby Blaster. Most of you will probably recognize these names. :) You will very quickly be able to see the alter ego they are taking on. See if you can get more than 100 lines on Veggie Pile-Up.

Exercising Patience

About three weeks ago, Alex and I began the grueling process of potty training our youngest son, Micah. I know there are many "potty programs" out there, a few of which promise to achieve the goal in one day. Well, we have never admitted to being experts on the subject and its never happened for us in one day. We began by doing the same thing we had done with Josiah...quitting diapers cold turkey (except for naptime and bedtime, of course). Jacob has required a much different approach. He sits on the potty on a schedule, and after almost 2 years of starting the training, he still does not communicate to us he needs to go, so the scheduled approach has stayed in place. With Josiah, and now with Micah, we purchased a butt-load (no pun intended) of underwear and play the rest by ear. Reinforcers such as candy and "wicked" cool toys have played a major role.

Well, the first week (with Micah)...no results, except for killing a few brain cells with all the Resolve that was used. The second week...about 3-4 successful number 1's. The third week...about 4-5 completely independent number 1's and 3 completely independent number 2's. I have been very pleased with the results. This is all being done on a little potty that I keep in our living area of the house downstairs. Our one and only bathroom is upstairs. But, during this process I came to realize that he was more likely to NOT have an accident if he was naked "down there." But, now we are to the point where he only goes independently if he has nothing on. With underwear on, he has accidents. So, thats where we are in the potty process. Any advice?

The Day After

In talking with my mom and my mother-in-law yesterday, I came to realize that we were all in agreement that a birthDAY should actually be a birthMONTH, or at the least a birthWEEK. One day is such a short amount of time and being celebrated, made to feel special, and my favorite perk of Daddy doing the dishes, putting the kids to bed, running a nice bubble bath, etc. goes by in the blink of an eye.

My son, Josiah, would definitely be in support of the month-long birthday celebration. He was extremely disappointed yesterday when he found out that I was not having a big party with lots of people, presents, party hats, and goody bags. To him a birthday, whether its his or not, is a reason to partay!!! He told me yesterday that he thinks everyone, not just the birthday boy or girl, should have fun on birthdays...so he suggested we go to Chuck E. Cheese. :)

I hated to disappoint, but we went to Outback Steakhouse, where we go twice a year - my birthday and Mother's Day. I enjoyed my 9oz. Outback Special, my garlic mashed potatoes, my ceasar salad, and that wonderful bread they serve. Sure wish I could eat like that all month long.

Welcome to Holland

Thank you, Amy, for reminding me of this comparison. And thank you, Monica, for bringing it to my attention in the first place. I thought I would share the following piece with everyone because it so accurately describes the journey that I, and others with autistic children, have actually been blessed to have gone through. While it is a very difficult situation to endure and deal with on a daily basis, I can only smile when I read the following:

"Welcome to Holland"
By Emily Perl Kingsley, 1987. All rights reserved.

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo, David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away...because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss. But...if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.

I know this may sound crazy, but you get to the point where you realize that if all of the sudden you wake up in Italy, you would actually MISS those "very special, very lovely things...about Holland."

I love you, Jacob!!!!