Happy Birthday, Jacob!

Eight years ago today, I gave birth to my first child, a precious 7lb 12oz, 20 1/4 inch long baby boy with a head full of red hair. It was such an exciting day. I had a scheduled induction due to the fact that Jacob was a little too comfortable and cozy inside my womb. I endured 11 hours of labor with the help of an epidural and Jacob entered this world to an audience. In the delivery room were Alex, my mom, my dad, my mother-in-law, my sister and behind the curtain were my father-in-law and brother-in-law. Sounds like a full house, I know, but being my first, as well as the first grandchild for my parents, I wouldn't have done it any other way. To be able to share such a miraculous experience with my family was amazing.

Jacob's first year of life was not typical, having been diagnosed with a cleft palate within minutes of his birth. And seeing my beautiful baby boy undergo numerous tests after having seizures at 4 months of age was completely heart wrenching. After his being diagnosed with autism at age 2, we were devestated, but God has miraculously sustained us through all of the unexpected obstacles that have accompanied our lives. Jacob is and forever will be my perfect angel and I thank God for allowing me to be his mom.

Having not known very much about autism upon Jacob's diagnosis, I assumed he would take on the stereotype that I had pictured in my head. One of the disappointments I faced was that my son would never be able to tell me or even show me that he loves me. I am here to personally attest to the falsity of that stereoype. I never feel more loved than when Jacob so intently looks me in the eye, when he touches my face, when he pulls me so close to him when I kiss him goodnight, when he embraces me so tightly as we cuddle on the couch each morning before he goes to school, when he attempts to say momma by putting my fingers to his lips, and when he wears that absolutely beautiful smile on his face as we interact with one another. And while I may not hear the words, at least in this life, I know that my son loves me.

Jacob doesn't really "get" the whole birthday thing. So instead of being so consumed with parties, cakes, and gifts I feel I have more time to appreciate Jacob, reflect on the past 8 years, and just enjoy being his mom.