Saturday, July 13, 2013

Watch What You Ask For

The other day I scrolled down to my September 7, 2011 post "Desires of My Heart."  I had created somewhat of a wish list, a list of things that I both wanted and needed in my life to bring contentment and satisfaction.  Ironically, my recollection of this post occurred on a day that I was feeling as though I was being "picked on " by God.  I know, I know. God doesn't pick on me,  but that's the way I was feeling. Imagine the drastic turn my pity party took when I realized that many of the things on my wish list were being fulfilled. I will take them one by one and share what has transpired since that November day in 2011.

1. We don't have a nice house with a big fenced in yard yet, but that will come. well, actually I do (minus the fence), but we don't live in it.  Our house is in Arkansas and we are in California. Oh, well. So much for that one. :)

2. 2nd to the Boston, MA area, I believe we are in the best place for Jacob in regards to his education and the services provided for autistic individuals and their families.

3. I am pleased with Josiah and Micah's school.  We are in the process of finding a new school for Jacob but have confidence that a great one will be found.

4. Alex has a great job where he is using his calling, his abilities, his education, and his experience.  You can't get any better than that.

5. We have the most wonderful church, who not only supports us, but who treats Jacob as one of their own.  We are so thankful that this "wish" came true.  After being un-churched for about 3 months, this answer to prayer was probably the most life changing.

6. As long as we are in Southern, CA, we will not experience 4 distinct seasons.  You gotta pick your battles. :)

7. ...and as long as I am paying over $4.00/gallon for gas and I am living in Riverside, California, I will not experience a decent cost of living.

8. For over a year and a half  I have been employed part time and have been able to be home everyday when Jacob gets home from school at 2:00.  I didn't believe this was possible, but yet another desire fulfilled!

9. When I make a list of the qualities I desire a friend of my boys to possess, I paint a picture of a wonderful friend God has provided for Josiah.  As his mom, I can't put a price on this answer to prayer. This is HUGE!

10.  Towards the end of last year, Alex and I began directing the children's choir at our church. We have both had such a great time working with these kiddos!

11. I don't have a new van...but something better!  In March Alex bought me a Jeep Patriot that I absolutely love!!  The stress of not having a dependable vehicle is over.  This, too, is HUGE!


I am thankful for God's provision.  I am grateful for the things I have.  I love my family. I have 3 beautiful healthy boys. I don't ever want to take anyone or anything for granted.  Things could always be worse. Someone out there has less than I do. I need to remind myself of these things everyday.

Friday, January 25, 2013

Living in the Moment

I have had alot on my mind the last couple of days. I am not one to obsess about the future. If I were, I would have made much better decisions in my early adult years that would have resulted in a better financial situation for me and my family. I'm sure I am not the only one in my age group that feels that way. No offense to you 18-22 years olds, but when I was that age I had no clue how my choices at that time would effect my future. Believe it or not, this post is not about my education, my career choice, or my current paycheck. Rather, its about my "living in the moment" mentality and my lack of motivation when it comes to planning for the future.

I have always been fairly confident that I possess a decent amount of intelligence, and sometimes I wonder if I have sold myself short. But, then again, I convince myself that God's greatest purpose for my life on this side of eternity is to be the mother of an autistic child. It goes without saying that Josiah and Micah are just as important and deserve the same level of care, but being Jacob's mom requires a constant mental and physical presence that is unique to his situation and this necessary demand will be required of me until the day I die. So, its difficult to think about anything but the present. I want to be goal oriented, ambitious, and prepared for the future, but my mind is on overload. Don't get me wrong...I don't feel overwhelmed or feel that too much is being expected of me.  This has been my life for the last 10 years (since Jacob was diagnosed), and I really do feel more than capable of living this life, but sometimes I just wish my mind was free to think about the future. I want to be capable of making good choices today that will better the life of my family tomorrow.