Tell Me It Ain't So!

Over the summer my 2 older kiddos turned 15 and 14! Holy freakin moly! Can this be true? (and my baby will be 10 next month!) I am having trouble facing the reality that Josiah will be graduating high school in a few short years and moving on to the next phase of his life. I feel like I am not even close to accomplishing everything that I want to accomplish as his parent. There are so many areas in which I feel I have failed him (and his brothers) as a mom. Its scary to think of one day soon "letting go" while realizing I haven't prepared him for life. Wow! This is a horrible feeling! Please, clock, slow down a bit.  I need more time. Am I the only one who feels this way?

I have always taken pride in being a strong woman, but the thought of seeing my boys transition into adulthood freaks me out. Yes, on one hand, I will be excited for them and will enjoy watching them become all that God wants them to be, but on the other hand its gonna rip my heart out. Am I gonna be one of those mothers who urges her child to go to college close by, no matter what other opportunities may arise? I never thought I would be, but the closer the time comes, the more I think I will do just that. I don't want to react out of fear; fear of failure as a parent,  fear of being alone, fear of  "losing" my kids, fear for their safety, etc. Bear with me while I talk myself through this one...

I will start trying to process these feelings by realizing that there is no "perfect" mom out there and comparing myself to moms who pretend they are perfect is not wise. Secondly, I will try to realize that even though my boys are getting older, I can still speak into their lives and teach them how to become responsible adults. I also want to use every moment I can to enjoy them.  I can do all these things. Yes, I can! Anything anyone can add? I would love to hear your thoughts, responses, advise.